It's about damn time, honestly.
The last time I saw a therapist was in September of last year. A whole year has gone by without me venting my emotional woes to a mental health professional, and the tole is becoming very evident.
With a combination of family stress, covid, unemployment, financial worries, and all the rest—I had to make myself go online and search for some real help. I logged onto my health insurance portal and began looking through all the available therapists nearby...and scheduled my first appointment.
I'm strangely...very excited. The only time I was nervous about therapy was my very first time as a 17-year-old bed ridden with panic attacks. I sat in front of a psychiatrist the first time for meds, then the second time in front of a therapist to tackle the issues causing me to spiral into a panic every day. Within just a few weeks time I was able to go to school for an entire day, which hadn't happened in weeks.
Since then, I've gone to therapy on-and-off. I'll feel better after a couple months of it and decide that I'm ready to tackle the world again, only to feel very overwhelmed with stressful life events months later. I'm a sensitive soul who's very prone to anxiety and depression, and it's becoming evident that going to therapy regularly is a necessity.
I'm really looking forward to seeing my therapist (over the phone, unfortunately, but still!), especially to tackle some issues that have been creeping up on me this past year. From how I view myself to how I handle my relationships (both romantic and platonic), there are unhealthy patterns in my behavior that I really could use some help with. I want to be able to actually voice these issues and have a professional guide me through them so I can handle not only these specific issues, but similar ones that could happen in the future. The last thing I want is to be where I am now in a decade—scared to take chances and self-sabotaging at every chance I get.
I want to build a stronger sense of confidence that I've lost over the last couple of years. I want to get to the root of why I'm so afraid of certain things, and how I can be a better friend and romantic partner. I've self-isolated so much these past few years due to issues that I only scratched the surface of with my last therapist, but I need to go deeper if I'm going to experience any sort of healing.
If you've been debating going to therapy for the first time or returning, do it. Find a therapist near you and make an appointment. It can be terrifying the first time, but once you walk out of your first appointment, you'll seriously feel a wave of relief. And if you're going back, you'll feel the same benefits. Everyone deserves to get help with personal road blocks, stressful life events, mental illness, and all that lies in between—we deserve to live life on our terms without succumbing to the major hurtles thrown our way.
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