Don't Let Other People's BS Affect You

I have a problem when it comes to letting other people's problems affect me. So often I get dragged in the middle of other people's squabbles and drama, and I end up building anxiety over a situation that has nothing to do with me. It's the people who drag me in whom I need to be cautious of letting my mental and emotional well-being suffer, and I wanted to write this post in hopes of helping others in a similar situation.

Certain people in my life have been dragging me into their drama for years, starting around 2013. I would get calls constantly from one of them about problems they were having with their significant other, how she was going to leave him, make a big deal out of it, then everything would settle down and go back to normal. This has been going on for almost 7 years now; I'm updated on the newest dramatic episode and am somehow made responsible for helping to fix the problem, or take a side; if I don't pick a side, I'm punished. Why does this relationship, that has absolutely nothing to do with me, have to be my responsibility to rectify? It's complete BS, and unfair to me.

When these episodes happen and I'm looped into it again and again, I sequester myself and begin to reflect and breathe. I tell myself something similar each time: "I am responsible for my reactions and emotions; that is what I can control." It's easy for me to become nervous and angry when these episodes happen—because I know it's selfish of these people to keep bringing me in to their issues that they refuse to solve themselves—but I keep telling myself that I am in control of myself. Just because these people feel out of control with their continuous drama cycle, doesn't mean I have to feel the same.

I'll journal, write, call a family member who is aware of this drama, anything that helps me clear my head and remind myself that I'm not responsible for these people's issues. I have to fight the urge to feel like a victim, because that's only going to cause more mental and emotional damage. Instead, I remind myself, again, that other people's BS is not mine to deal with. I have my own goals I want to achieve, and focus my energy instead on completing what it is I've set out to accomplish.

This blog has been a tremendous goal of mine that I love to write for daily. It offers clarity, confidence, and reassurance that I have a place to channel my creativity—even when I'm feeling angered and nervous about being cycled through drama. My acting classes have shown me an entirely different creative realm where I can act ridiculous and feel liberated; they have also greatly helped my writing skills and ability to think on my feet. I'm working on generating multiple streams of income (slowly but surely), and remind myself that financial freedom is here for me, and that I have to tell myself I'm worthy of receiving it.

Next time you feel affected by other people's issues and BS—whether it be your roommate, a family member, coworker, etc.—focus on what you can control, because you cannot control their problems. Control how you react, talk to yourself about what's happening, and your involvement; remind yourself of your goals, ambitions, and recent accomplishments. Build yourself up with praise that despite the drama that you continuously get dragged into, you've done so much, and will do so much more.

As I sit here writing, the drama is already repeating itself and in full-swing. I'm reminding myself that I'm responsible for myself and my reactions, not them and their drama. I'm setting a plan for joining a group of people who want to gain financial freedom; I could be moving into my own place at the start of the new year; I've submitted an audition to be in an intermediate acting class—everything is going to turn around, and the universe is in my favor. It's in all of our favor; we have to remind ourselves of that. Whatever unwanted situation you're in now, it's only temporary. You have to keep hope that things will change for the better.

Feel free to DM me on Instagram @zoeparisblog if you need to vent about a similar situation; I want others to know that they're not alone, and that support is always here.