Get Outside of Yourself

I was listening to The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast (big surprise there), and one of the hosts Lauryn mentioned an amazing quote that her late grandmother used to tell her growing up: "Get outside of yourself." Lauryn explained that her "Nanz" would tell her this whenever she was upset over something like a boy, friend drama, etc.—and she would follow suit after receiving Nanz's advice. Lauryn explains that in order to move on from trivial problems that are distracting you from being your best self, in the wise words of The Nanz, "Always be interested. It makes life more interesting. Getting outside yourself. Be interested in what’s going on with other people, remember their different stages and their different things. Think outside yourself in every way."

I could not agree more with this advice. As I've talked about before, taking acting classes has been a surefire way to get out of yourself when it comes to scene work. Your focus and drive needs to be on your scene partner, not all on yourself; contact is the most important aspect of giving an authentic performance. If you're not connected with your scene partner, the scene will fall flat. What is your partner saying and doing? How does s/he affect you? What do you want/need from your scene partner? What happens if you don't get it? Doing a scene forces you out of yourself and onto your partner; the more interested you are, the more interesting you'll be to watch.

I know if I'm having a bad day and feeling sorry for myself, I need to get out of my head. Staying bottled up in that clusterfuck of irrational thoughts, fears, and emotions is no safe place to be. So, in order to combat these, I have to focus on other people. Part of why I love to work when I'm nervous is because it forces me to focus on the kids I nanny, clean the house, fold the laundry, etc. I can't just sit and stir when I'm running around doing chores, and I love it. If I'm not working, I either clean my own house; text a friend; take my little sisters to the park—anything to get me outside of myself and interested in other people. The last thing I need to do is sit in my bed, crying, feeling bad for myself. No one likes a "woe is me" sob-story; if you're struggling, do something about it. Talk to a therapist; lean on your friends and family; move more; do that house project you've been meaning to do; take a class—get outside of yourself.

If you're finding it hard getting out of your head, journal everything you're feeling. Every little thing. Jot down every thought and fear that crosses your mind, no matter how irrational. The physical act of putting your thought on paper and out of your head is the first step to getting outside of yourself. After you finished your word-vomit session, get moving. I need to walk a lot when I'm nervous to help calm my heightened nervous system; I could literally just walk around the entire house until I get calm if I don't want to go outside. Hell, this morning I was experiencing anxiety and just walked from one end to the living room to the end of the hall and back several times before work to help calm me down. Getting your body moving will get you out of your head and focus on the movements at hand; for an extra challenge, try doing burpees in your room to really knock your anxiety to the side. You'll be so close to vomiting from the act that you'll almost forget your anxiety entirely. Do push-ups, sit-ups, run in place—put your mind onto something else other than your racing thoughts.

Anxiety is hard, really hard. I know what it feels like to want to burst into tears because the anxiety is just mounting inside of your chest and it has nowhere to go but out. I know what it's like to have a sleepless night due to heart palpitations. Sometimes leaving the house feels like the end of the world. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get out of your head and into something productive. Sitting and wallowing will get you nowhere. Talk it out, walk it out, volunteer, write, paint, cook, clean—do everything you can to focus on other tasks. Your mind will thank you.