I have naturally curly hair. It's straighter at the roots, then spirals starting at the top of my ears. In college I tried to accept my curly hair and go for it full-force: I used a diffuser to dry my hair; I scrunched it with a t-shirt after washing it to preserve the curls' shape; and I let the curls reign free for maybe a year or two. But every time I looked at pictures of myself, I thought I looked off—like my face was unbalanced. It was after looking at these pictures and my reflection more closely that I realized my curls were making my already round face look much rounder. The roundness of the curls was pulling my cheeks and jaw out horizontally, making me look heavier in the face than I actually was.
I started blow drying my hair again and straightening it now and then to get rid of the curls. I felt sad that I was doing it, but I knew I didn't like the way they looked on me. I was now looking at myself with the straighter hair I had and beamed; my face looked slimmer, and my cheeks didn't look like they were twice their natural size. I tried dying my hair dark brown for about 6 months and realized it was far too dark for my pale skin; I looked vampiric, and almost anemic at times. I let the color fade overtime and allowed my natural hair color to grow back, which ended up (unsurprisingly) matching my skin tone much better.
I then started analyzing why my smile looked off in pictures; it looked like I was tucking in my upper lip and hid its natural plumpness. I started training myself to smile without tucking my lips in, and this in turn helped hide any extra gummy-ness in my smile, and helped show off my lips a little bit more. I also stopped over-filling my eyebrows and instead chose a tinted brow gel to keep my hairs up and lightly defined.
Then...there was the acne. I was going through bad hormonal breakouts in college (likely from stress), and couldn't go a week without a new cyst popping up on my chin. I had bumps and pimples showing up constantly, and that's when I decided to start taking birth control pills. At first, the acne got worse, then it settled down and slowly started clearing up. Within a couple months all my cysts were GONE and my chin was clear for the first time in over a year! Over the next year or two I cleaned up my skincare and now have a much simpler routine, you can read about it here. Since doing so, I only experience a monthly hormonal breakout with a small blemish either on my chin or jaw, and it clears up within a week. My skin is glowing, even-toned, and radiant. I'm so, so happy!
The next and final component—and one that I'm still very much working on—is my wardrobe. I stick to black most of the time because it's easy, chic, and goes with everything—but I would like to branch out and buy different textures, colors, and patterns to play around it. Life is too short to stick to what's comfortable! I'm planning on doing a major thrift-shop haul to save some money on this wardrobe shift, and I'll definitely be keeping you guys updated here and on my YouTube channel. I need all the help I can get! But in the meantime, I know what clothes I do and don't like, the shapes I want to avoid, and the colors that make me look like I have tuberculosis—which is a good start.
We all deserve to look and feel our best, however that is. If you love your curly hair, rock it! If you are committed to wearing black, go for it and ditch color to the wayside. Find what you love about your looks and emphasize them; for me, I love having straighter hair so it slims down my face and more focus is placed on my eyes. My skin is clear which allows me to go outside sans makeup almost daily, and when I do wear makeup, it goes on flawlessly. I know how I want to look and I feel good when I look in the mirror—you should, too! We all deserve to love the reflection we see every day, physically and internally.
And always remember, take care of yourself. Know your worth!
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