As I've been sitting at home writing, filming and editing YouTube videos, and snacking vigorously throughout the day—I've been thinking about the totally not-anxiety-inducing idea of my future.
For the most part, I'm positive about what lies ahead of me. It's just those pesky "resting in the back of my head" anxious thoughts that make me think I'm not good enough for the future I want. Part of creating the future you want is being thankful for your present situation, and although there can be very stressful parts of our present, we still need to put our life in perspective. Even though family drama happens, I have a roof over my head thanks to my parents who allow me to live with them rent-free (I of course chip in with other bills). I have a family who loves and supports me. I have two jobs that allow me to pay for the necessities and the fun stuff. My skin has been behaving exceptionally well...for the most part. I'm in acting classes that allow me to discover new parts of my creativity and develop a stronger sense of confidence. I have food to eat. Life is not too shabby for me, and I need to remind myself of that.
When you're thankful for what you have now, the benefits you want in the future will come to you. When I sink into thoughts of "I'm not good enough to have X" or "X will never happen for me", I make myself snap out of it. "You STOP it right now," I say in my head like a loon, "Who says X will never happen for you? You ARE good enough." This is what we need to say to ourselves anytime we start spinning into a negative-thought pattern; remind yourself of your worth, even if things aren't going as planned.
The Universe, God, whoever or whatever you believe in—is here for you. I know that sounds "woo woo", but I'm telling you, your thoughts and beliefs manifest into reality. Right now during quarantine and being in fear of contracting this new virus, it's difficult to maintain calm and perspective. Everything is shifting right now, up in the air, and uncertain—and the best we can do is talk it out, connect with those we love over the phone, spend consciously, and take care of ourselves. I know I'm worried about certain bills, if I'm able to continue working, and if my family members will be safe during this pandemic—but the best I can do is focus on today and the present moment, while keeping a positive mindset.
"How can I stay positive if I can't pay my bills?" you may ask, and that's a valid concern. It's a concern I have. Right now, at this moment though, all my bills have been paid for the month. That I can be thankful for. I have enough in my bank account to last me the next few weeks if I can't work. I'm keeping track of every dollar I spend so I can keep calm if I'm not making any income for a period of time. Do what you can to be financially safe during a time of unpredictability.
Stay safe, practice social distancing, and keep washing your hands. Stay home as much as you're able to. Everything will be ok.
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