Learn to Shut Down, Not Shut Off

Now, what do you mean by this title, Zoë?

I'll tell you what I mean.

At the end of the day, week, or even a rough morning—we need to find ways to decompress and allow ourselves to breathe. So often we're told we have to "go go go!" by motivational speakers, our bosses, people around us with seemingly better or better-paying jobs—and we don't give ourselves a break, not really. Or maybe we feel so overwhelmed and uninspired that we don't have the energy it takes to go at the pace we wish we could.

This is when we shut off. We think "it's all too much, I'm taking a nap" or "forget it, I won't ever be X anyway", and nothing ever gets accomplished. We stay in the same old job we don't really like or doesn't pay well; stay with the partner who doesn't treat us the way we want to be treated; and leave any desires for travel or starting a new hobby at the wayside. To prevent this feeling of overwhelm and dissatisfaction, we need to learn to shut down, not shut off.

By shutting down, we're slowing down. We take a breath, we take a moment for ourselves, and we do what makes us happy. By doing so, we're refreshed for the next step, the next goal, or simply the next task. At the end of a long day, forgive yourself for any mistakes you made, and thank yourself for the stamina you kept: "Man those were a lot of meetings, but I made it through and I even made some good points. My boss said I could improve on X, so I'm thankful she told me, now I can improve and become a more valuable employee to the company." Whatever it is, always have—you guessed it—perspective and gratitude. Know that you did your best, be thankful for the work you did, and congratulate yourself on a job well done. Cook your favorite meal; run a hot bath; watch some Netflix; do whatever you'd like to shut down and melt the day away in preparation for the next.

I find that whenever I have this mindset of "shutting down" rather than "shutting off", I have far better stamina when I'm working on my goals. I prevent the familiar "ugh I'm just gonna take a nap" by reminding myself, "It all takes time. You're doing a great job. You are on your own journey, nobody else's", and I keep going. I give myself time to relax, because my body and mind need it. If I don't, stress takes over and I have trouble sleeping; I eat a lot of sugar; and I'm more agitated. Whatever you do to shut down, be mindful of how this time is important to you. What do you gain from this time of peace? Why are you thankful for these moments? Write them down if you'd like and place them around your home where you can see it, so you're always reminded to take care of yourself.

Know that you are worth taking care of, and do whatever that looks like.