My 2020 Intentions: Growing My Finances, Volunteering, and Opening My Heart Again

If you haven't read my 2019 reflections post, give that a quick once-over before you read this to know some ~backstory~.

So, 2020. A new year and decade, which may be both exciting and daunting (wasn't 2003 ten years ago?). Time suddenly seems to be sprinting ahead of us just looking at those four numerals, but we can also take solace in knowing that it still is a new beginning. With every year we learn new things about ourselves, we meet new (hopefully good) people, and take away valuable lessons from the problematic events. As we jot down and think of our resolutions and intentions for 2020, I wanted to share my own to maybe spark your own, or add to your list. These intentions are based on my experiences this past year, and I encourage you to go off of your own experiences, too.

I've been on a monetary journey for the past few years now. I had never really been "good" at money in that I spent mindlessly, and tended to make impulse purchases without much thought about if I really needed three new pairs of shoes. But during these past two years, I've made conscious efforts to be better at not only handling money, but improving my relationship with it. I'm continuously challenging my limiting beliefs on money, like me believing I'm "not capable of being financially free", "I won't ever be able to buy a house, let alone rent an apartment", "Money leaves me all the time", "I never have enough money." If I keep telling myself these things about money, I'll not only stay in that mindset, but in that reality. That belief that "I never have enough money" will manifest into me never having enough money; thoughts materialize, and we need to be careful of that.

Going into 2020, I'm going to take every action I can to make sure I'm leading myself to financial independence. I'm going to have more than a thousand dollars in my banking account for once; start investing; rent an apartment; lease a car; and more. I've already started by signing myself up for health insurance, and although it pains me to think of paying more than $300 per month just so I can go to the doctor, I need to reverse that thinking into: "How lucky am I that I can afford this health insurance? I'll be able to pay it off every month with ease due to excess money in my banking account." I'm going to actively think these thoughts into reality, and write them down on sticky notes and place them where I can see them daily. Everything I want is here for me, I just have to believe it and work towards it—we all need to.

Another intention I have is one I've been faltering on for years now: volunteering. There's no better cure for your own anxiety and worries than getting outside of yourself and giving back. I know I could be majorly benefiting my mental health by simply giving my time to a cause that matters to me and helps others; how could I be wrapped up in my own entanglement of self-doubt when I'm helping out hospital staff; tutoring kids at the library; or playing with puppies at an animal shelter? We need to remind ourselves of causes that we know concern us, and that we could be active in in some way. Whether it's breast cancer awareness; anti-bullying campaigns; cleaning up beaches and outdoor areas; or reading to sick kids at the hospital—find something you care about and make time to give back to it. We can all do so much good in this world simply by giving our time, and we'll feel better in the process.

As detailed in this post, I want to be more open to the idea of life partnership through marriage. I want to go into this year with an open heart to meeting someone who I see a future with, who meets all the qualifications on my list for traits I want in a partner. For so long I've been emotionally closed off from truly connecting to my romantic partners in fear that they'd leave or hurt me in some way—but how much is it worth to sacrifice vulnerability for emotional safety? I know the one real relationship I've had was shallow due to both of us being afraid to truly open up to one another, which lead to our partnership's end. I'm sick of going for guys I know I don't see a future with simply because they're readily available; I want to do the work to find someone who I'm truly compatible with and who is willing to grow with me.

Dating is hard today (well, it's always been hard, but dating apps add a whole other dimension to the difficulty). I've tried Bumble and Tinder to see what it was all about, and the dates weren't all bad, but I've tended to end up with dudes who were—surprise!—not looking for a relationship, or just wanted one thing. Although it's tempting to use dating apps out of convenience and accessibility, I don't want to rely on them to meet a romantic partner. I want to meet a potential boyfriend in person while I'm living my life, like while I'm volunteering, working on an acting project, or connecting through mutual friends. Not all digital-starting relationships are shallow, but for me, they have been, so I want to change that pattern entirely. If I actually put in the effort to meeting someone by getting myself out and about doing things that I love, I know someone meaningful will come along. As long as I continue to grow myself, love myself, and know my worth, everything will fall into place. Remind yourself of this if you are on a similar journey.

As you reflect on this past year, take a hard look at what you truly learned about yourself and how you dealt with the more difficult moments. Look at what is missing from your life, whether it's spending time with your loved ones; making time for yourself and hobbies you miss doing; or going outside more instead of being glued to a screen—whatever it is, look and see what positive aspects you want to add to your life. They won't all come barreling in come January 1, but we can take the steps to make them happen throughout the entire year. Write down your intentions, post sticky-notes around your bedroom, journal daily—whatever you need to help keep your intentions present in your mind every day. We can start fresh anytime we want, but starting fresh for the new year is always exciting, especially knowing that countless others are doing the same. Here's to a brighter year filled with happiness, positivity, growth, and knowing our worth. We all deserve it.