While we await death, let's have some fun:
1. Drink as much water as you possibly can throughout an entire day; that way you get to have something to do roughly every 20 minutes that involves washing your hands.
2. Listen to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast with Bill Hader; it's an earlier episode and an absolute riot. ("Ahoy hoy.")
3. Put on socks and slide on your hardwood floors until you slam so hard into a wall that you forget about the coronavirus.
4. Make cereal art, such as Fruit Loops glued into various patterns on your college diploma.
5. Lie on the ground, face the ceiling, and stare into the abyss while listening to the greatest hits of the 1930s.
6. Do an absurdly large puzzle that's monochromatic so you go so insane that you forget about the coronavirus.
7. Do your makeup like the celebrity you despise the most.
8. Ring a bell down your barren street calling out, "Bring out your dead."
9. Yell at your family members to leave you alone.
10. Look out at the trees and try to remember what they feel like.
11. Watch every single episode of The Simpsons.
12. Jump until you can touch the ceiling.
13. Eat a block of cheese. Then another one.
14. Send a handwritten letter to a friend, so they can still get your hand germs.
15. Eat all the snacks you hoarded from the grocery store in one sitting.
16. Iron your socks.
17. Take an iron supplement.
18. Watch a documentary on iron.
19. Have your family put on a talent show in your living room.
20. Rest your hands in a bowl of rubbing alcohol for 24 hours.
Stay safe everyone.
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