The Benefits of Having International Friendships

Upon departing the US of A for my grad school program in London, I began picturing all the different kinds of people I'd meet in this international city. I knew my program would be speckled with foreigners - including me - so I couldn't wait to meet others who were from cultures far different from my own. I wasn't surprised that most of the program was made up of Brits, with 5 or 6 of us Americans, then there were other interesting nationalities. There was a girl from Korea; a girl from Brazil; 2 Swiss Germans and a Swiss French girl; a girl from India; an Italian girl; a couple Chinese girls; a Polish girl (my friend Ola); and a guy (my friend Frank) who has an interesting back story. Frank was born in Washington D.C., grew up in the Czech Republic until age 12 or 13 with his Czech father and Polish mother, moved to Vienna, spent the rest of his school years there until he moved to London for undergrad—whew!

It was great meeting people from countries whose cultures aren't exactly prominent where I live. I can tell you that I never hear the Polish language in O.C., and definitely not Czech or German. I loved listening to Ola and Frank speak in Polish together, although Ola would tell me his Polish needed a little...polish. I was so impressed that both of them could speak many languages, Ola speaking Polish, English, and Japanese; Frank speaking Czech, Polish, English, and German. Meanwhile I was bumbling my way through toddler's French to the Swiss French girl trying to make it seem like I was making an effort. It was astounding how these students from non-English speaking countries were here in London, in an English-only GRAD program, reading academic papers and writing tough essays on topics that are barely understandable to us native English-speakers. It inspired me to take language learning seriously, after seeing these students who clearly worked hard to learn English to be in this program.

After our MA program ended, I went off to Paris to be an au pair for 9 months and became near-fluent. It gave me a better perspective on how hard it must have been for those non-native English speakers in my grad program who had to learn my language to come to that university. I picture if I had to take an exam to prove my French language comprehension to be accepted into a grad program in France, and my palms immediately start to sweat. I imagine the academic papers I'd have to read—in French—and write grad-level papers, in French. When I felt overwhelmed with learning French as an au pair, I would think of my fellow grad students who had worked tirelessly to learn my native language, and stop whining. It's a privilege to learn a new language, and I didn't want to take that for granted.

As I take the plunge into learning German this coming year, I have to remind myself to be disciplined and know that learning a new language requires patience. I can't expect to learn an entirely new language in a matter of weeks, especially in a country that doesn't speak the language. I'll have to work twice as hard to practice speaking (likely in front of my bathroom mirror); study every single day, even if it's only for 5 minutes; and remember why I want to learn it if I start feeling defeated. It can be overwhelming seeing the new grammar rules, spelling, and getting your mouth and throat used to the new sounds you've never made before—but it's possible. All of the non-native English speakers in my grad program did it, and so can I.

Having these international friends and classmates has shown me that language learning can be incredibly beneficial to your education, job opportunities, and ability to connect with a variety of people. I can't tell you how thrilled I am when I hear French in my area, because I get to talk to that person and get to bond over speaking the same language. I feel more well-rounded, and honestly smarter; my brain works in a way now that's difficult to explain, almost like it can problem solve far greater than it did before learning French (I had learned Spanish before, but alas, learning French has basically pushed all Spanish out of my noggin). I also, egotistically, love the feeling of pride I get when someone says they're impressed I speak French; I'm like, "Fuck yeah I do. Wanna hear me use le subjonctif?"

Wherever you are in the world, make an effort not only to learn a new language, but connect with native speakers of that language. They have a whole story based on their country, culture, and ways of living that could offer valuable life lessons to you; I know seeing all the ESL (English as Second Language) students in my course inspired me to work harder to learn a language, and to never take for granted how lucky I am to have been born into a country where my language is (typically) preferred worldwide. If every other ESL student can do it, why not me?

I hope this post is helpful to you and your own language journey, and reminds us the importance of learning a new language in the first place. You benefit your mind, you connect with more people, and you reflect on your own culture and upbringing. Remember to have fun with it, and appreciate the process—I know I'll need to when I begin conjugating German verbs.

Good luck!