The Career Value in Being Kind

I was listening to The Skinny Confidential Him and Her Podcast (which is brilliant), and the hosts Lauryn and Michael brought up a topic that I'm sure many of us have experienced. You're at an event—say for networking—and the person you're talking to is constantly looking over your shoulder to look for someone else to talk to. Not only is it rude, it's frustrating and a waste of my time.

This is partly why I despise networking; each person I talk to seems to be looking for someone better, someone who has a higher position or social standing. Why not stay present with the person you're talking to instead of looking around the room like you're bored or realizing I'm not "high up" enough for you? You have no idea the background of strangers you meet at a networking event; the person you could be shrugging off could very well have those contacts you need to advance, or skills that could be useful to you. Just because they're not on the same pedestal as so-and-so, doesn't mean they're not as valuable.

Being present with those you're talking to is not only kind and polite, it is also beneficial to your career. If you go around treating people like they're lesser than you or unimportant, you will have no allies. Your ego will inflate, you may advance some, but in the end you'll have little respect from your coworkers. Who wants to cheer on and support someone who treats them like they don't matter, or that they're not high enough on the career latter to be spoken to?

No matter how high you climb on the career latter, always treat those around you with respect. I don't care if you've grown to be a CEO of a major financial company—you have no excuse of treating someone like they're not worth your time when you meet them. It creates a shallow image, not one of compassion and understanding. Be proud of your work and what you do, but don't forget where you started.

I write this because I don't want to be that person who thinks just because I'm successful, educated, or well-off that I can treat people as lesser if they look a certain way or can't advance me in some way. Everyone has value, and just because someone is a janitor doesn't mean you don't say hi to them upon entering the building. The au pair you just hired isn't some naive child who's stupid because she doesn't speak your language; she's here to learn the language, and has life experience that you don't even know about. We all have something to offer. We all have skills, knowledge, and expertise in something—no matter how small.

If you're not a kind person when building your career, don't expect to gain any respect from those around you. Don't be a pushover or not work your ass off and hustle despite negative comments, but don't be an asshole either. Being a jerk isn't going to get you the career you want. Be assertive, forthright, ambitious, and speak your mind—but leave behind whatever horse you rode in on. There is a huge difference.