Tips for Sleeping When You're Feeling Anxious

If you have an anxiety disorder like I do, or you're experiencing higher anxiety than usual, then I hope this post will aid you in your quest to sleep. Most of the time my anxiety disorder doesn't affect my sleep all that much; if I'm lucky, I'm so exhausted from every butt I wiped and child I chased that I can't wait to collapse into my sheets and drool myself into REM. But, for those times that I'm experiencing racing thoughts, heart palpitations, and feelings of dread, I need methods that will help soothe my anxious mind into a peaceful sleep.

Now, I want to stress again that I am pro-medication. It may not be everyone's first choice, but I cannot function without it if I'm truly experiencing debilitating anxiety. If I'm crying hysterically, hyperventilating, and feeling like an anxious mess—I take my prescribed medication to help me calm down. This is only for when the anxiety has become/is becoming an anxiety or panic attack; otherwise, I have the following methods to help me sleep.

I absolutely, always, 1000% talk to someone about how I'm feeling. I learned from my first stint in therapy as a teenager that I cannot bottle up my emotions; it will only explode from the build up. So, if I need to talk it out, I either send a message to my therapist; call my dad; or talk to my mom in the next room. If my mom is trying to catch some sleep after caring for her twin toddlers for a majority of the day, I'll rely mostly on my therapist and dad (although, my dad is more readily available, thank god). Just voicing how I'm feeling, even if I don't exactly know what the reason, is incredibly relieving. Removing these weighing thoughts and having someone tell me it's going to be ok almost instantly makes me feel better. If I keep these thoughts contained, they'll grow heavier and heavier and tumble like a stack of bricks.

Once I've talked to someone (or just before), I'll write down every little thing going through my mind. I haven't been the best at journaling, but I grab a pen and paper as soon as abnormal anxiety starts creeping in. Every "what if", every catastrophe scenario, every qualm and scruple—it all gets scribbled down. If I don't brain dump—by both talking to someone and journaling—I can't settle my mind. The more you release your thoughts, the more room you'll have in your brain for peace.

Distraction is also an effective method, especially if it's humorous or complicated—even better if it's a foreign comedy film. Watch an old favorite to comfort you (any Harry Potter movie for me will suffice); some classic 80s flicks; nostalgic 90s comedies—anything to help calm you down and comfort you. Take the time to unwind and focus your mind on something else, or turning it off as much as you can (only after you brain dump! Don't let the thoughts fester.)

If it helps, try a warm bath or shower before you sleep. The warm water will soothe your muscles, the steam will help clear your nose from any anxious crying, and the feeling of cleanliness is generally a good sleep-inducer, in my case. Sprinkle in some lavender essential oil either along the shower walls or in the tub for some extra relaxation, if you're feeling fancy. A nice hot cup of tea is also a wonderful sleep aid—although do it maybe an hour or so before bed so you don't wake in the middle of the night to pee.

Make your room feel as cold or hot as you want—whatever temperature helps you feel less anxious. For me, hot weather heightens my anxiety because it makes me sweat (I sweat a lot when I'm anxious, so it triggers the anxiety)—so I keep my bedroom window above my bed wide open well into the night so there's a nice chill throughout the space. I have two blankets on my bed to snuggle into when I feel chilled, so it feels like a nice hug as I drift to sleep. I also keep my fan on at night for the white noise, and will sometimes aim it directly at me if it's too warm for me to sleep.

If I wake up in the middle of the night feeling overwhelmingly anxious, I will take my medication. It's a surefire way to calm my nervous system and prevent me from getting to that level of a panic or anxiety attack. Afterwards, I'll go on my phone and watch YouTube videos that make me feel better or distract me—like a makeup tutorial, fashion haul, or daily vlog. If I have to, I'll leave the app open and running as I try to get back to sleep so I'm not forced to hear only my racing thoughts. Or leaving on good ol' Netflix is a viable option (season 5 of Peaky Blinders, anyone?).

These are the main steps I take to make sure I'm doing everything I can to calm my anxious mind before bed. It can be tough—almost impossible—but the more sleep you get, the better you'll feel. My anxiety feels ten times worse if I'm sleep deprived; do everything you can to make sure you're getting the amount of sleep you need to function (if you have young kids, do the best you can—I understand that getting a full night's sleep isn't always doable!).

Take care of yourself, and sleep well.