Weird Things French People Do

As someone who lived in France for about a year, I would say that I have learned une chose or two about strange habits of the French. If you're ever in France, you can see for yourself these odd social norms that had me scratching my head then and now. Not that we Americans don't do weird things like not doing anything about school shootings and electing a racist, sexist, and homophobic pig as our president—but I digress.

First off, French people are constantly blowing air out of their mouths. They mostly do this when they're angry, frustrated, bored—so basically, being French. It's almost like a fart sound without the actual placement of the tongue between the lips; it's a subtle toot sound. But if you really want to sound French, blow out some air after every other sentence.

That whole thing about French people not eating fast food is some bullSHIT. My host family got McDonald's at least once a month; and the huge McDonald's on the Champs-Elysées was PACKED with French people—and was the most crowded restaurant on the entire street. During the summer I'd see French people along the Seine with at least one McDonald's item like a soda, fries, or a burger. So I don't want to hear anyone saying how the French people are so snooty over their food. They're very proud of their cuisine, but they do not shy away from a Big Mac. They also sell frozen snails at the grocery store.

Small portion sizes are somewhat of a myth about France, let me tell you. Do you know how much cheese my host family ate after dinner? Yes, it's true that the French—especially Parisians—walk a lot more than we Americans do, but their portions aren't exactly all that different in the home. At restaurants, sure, plates are generally smaller; a large popcorn at the movies is a small over here; and you're not going to see someone leaving a cafe with an entire bag of pastries. But from what I saw, meals were huge and rich with lots of sauces, meat, and cheese. I always had to make this really heavy ham ravioli for the boys at lunch which was only sometimes finished; but when I made them a light sandwich with some fruit, they happily devoured it. It seemed like every meal had to be this whole production that made your stomach feel like a rock. This could have just been my host family, of course—but the French are known for their savory foods.

For a country that's known for its decadent pastries and desserts, I saw very few French people actually eat them. It was only for special occasions like holidays and birthdays that a cake was bought or a mille feuille was indulged in. But they have stashes of chocolate bars in the cupboard. The French much prefer their bread, especially the classic baguette, which you will absolutely see rushed Parisians chowing down on as they pound the pavement. That and ham. They LOVE ham.

Whenever I read to the 4-year-old I looked after, most of the story lines included a wolf. It was always about a damn wolf. The wolf was disguised as someone or something to try and eat the pigs or other animals in the story, and I did not understand the obsession. Why does it always have to be a wolf?? Why not a rooster? That is the symbol of France, isn't it?!

Ok, I saved the weirdest for last. So my host mom signed up her two older boys for what's called un rally; it's basically a group of girls and boys around the age of 11-12 who, throughout the remainder of their schooling, will have regular get-togethers for the function of finding someone to marry. Like, WHAT? Apparently it dates back from the French aristocracy, and it's just as antiquated as it sounds. Some French parents want to make sure their kids find a spouse, and I guess some of them take this route to make sure it happens. It's ultra-exclusive, and expensive, so it's more amongst the wealthy French families (hence the aristocracy). It's completely bizarre, but it's seen as a status builder, so for those who want to social climb—this is the ticket.

Well, I hope you enjoyed finding out about a couple of weird French habits. Every country has their own "weird" habits and social norms (especially America), so it's all in good fun that this post was written. If you're ever in France, keep an eye out for these behaviors and see how the French don't quite live up to our expectations of a beret, striped shirt, and an accordion in tow.