Why Being "Offended" and "Canceling" Won't Solve the Problem

It's ok and valid to be upset about something; those are your feelings, after all. There are circulating issues today revolving around issues of gender identity; climate change; possibly entering WWIII; amongst a list of topics that garner fervent attention across media platforms. Everyone has varying opinions and stances on these problems, and each one deserves thorough discussions and debates—the thing that won't help, though, is being "offended" or engaging in cancel-culture.

In the wise words of Stephen Fry, "It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that', as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I'm offended by that.' Well, so fucking what?" Yes, so fucking what—that's the key part of this quote. When you say "I'm offended by that", what does that offer in any way to open discussion on the issue at hand? Does that solve the problem? Does that start a healthy debate? Often the answer is "no"; so how do we open discussions on important issues that we value?

Let's say you're chatting with a new friend from class at a local cafe; you both decided that working together on this tough poetry assignment would be a good way to bounce off ideas and whatnot. You then bring up something you saw on your Instagram timeline before you get to work, because it's on a topic that matters to you, "Did you hear that that makeup guru Nikkie Tutorials came out as a transgender woman? She's so brave!" Your classmate then raises his eyebrows and says (un-sarcastically, but hesitant because maybe he's not totally familiar with this topic), "Wow, yeah I guess it must be hard to come out as a tranny. Good for her." You pause, wary, knowing that you've now been 'triggered' by that word—what do you say? How do you react? You know this classmate is a good guy, he's always been kind to you and other classmates, but you think it's important to clarify why this word is outdated and seen as derogatory.

You take a breath and point out, clearly and without malice or blame, "Actually, that word 'tranny' isn't a word that's used anymore. It's typically associated with a history of prejudice towards the transgender community, so the word we use now is 'trans.'" Your classmate could respond with, "Oh, I had no idea. Sorry about that", "Really? Hm, I didn't know that", "Ah, ok. Thanks for telling me. I didn't know that." You never know where someone stands on these issues, and we're all learning. Some people may not be as open-minded as this hypothetical classmate, in which case a debate may ensue. But let's try a different example: climate change.

You're going out with a couple co-workers at the end of the day; you're not as familiar with one of these co-workers, Jane, so you're interested to get to know her. While out at a local bar all together, one of you brings up the Australian wildfires and how devastating climate change has become. Jane then pipes up and says, "I don't think climate change is the issue. I mean, Australia is a hot country, and they get fires all the time. This one just happens to be really bad. I don't see why everyone blames natural disasters on climate change; climate change isn't even that bad. I think people are overreacting." Now, for you, climate change is a very important issue. You yourself have been doing better at eating less meat, using more reusable items, and have become better at sorting through your recycling. You're certainly not the best at being environmentally-savvy like Greta Thunberg, but you do your best. So, what do you say to Jane?

"Well, I think these particular fires are causing alarm for climate change because the fires are coming way sooner than they usually dsince yes, you're right, they do happen often in Australia. I was listening to this NPR segment on the issue this morning, actually, and they had this guy talking about how usually the fires are X large and burn X amount of time, but these fires are different because of Y. The guy goes on to say that the temperatures in Australia have grown Z amount over the years, which goes along with data on rising temperatures globally. It's so crazy, I couldn't believe it myself, but it's happening."

Now, Jane could respond in a variety of ways. She could vehemently disagree and say something like, "I'm sorry but I think this whole climate change 'crisis' is bullshit", or be more moderate and say, "I see your point, I just don't think these statistics prove much other than normal temperature fluctuations. I mean, sometimes it gets really hot, but it's not like the land is being covered by the ocean and millions of people are dying, so why is everyone getting so hot and bothered by this?" Either way, hopefully a discussion is opened up (a healthy one, fingers crossed) where you both can talk about this issue without attacking the other person. Nothing is going to be solved by us trying to win an argument by belittling the other person, "canceling" them, or trying to silence them because they're not on the same side as you—so they "must" be wrong. How can we become more informed on the issues that matter to us if we don't thoroughly talk about them?

You can unfollow whoever you want online with views that don't align with your own, that's up to you—but when these influencers come under fire for something offensive they said and are "canceled", what did that do to solve or at least discuss the underlying issue? If a white girl takes a selfie sporting cornrows on Instagram, and hundreds of people comment, "CANCELLED" or "unfollowing"—what does that do to start a discussion as to why her wearing cornrows is cultural appropriation? Sure, this chick may not even care, or even read every single comment, but a comment like, "Hey, I just wanted to say that this selfie is appropriating black culture. Maybe you didn't know, but I think it's important for you to know that white people donning elements of black culture is seen as hurtful amongst the black community, as if suddenly a hairstyle that the media views as 'ghetto' is now 'stylish' on a white girl. I hope you take this comment to heart, just wanted to point out this issue that's been going on for much longer than we realize and that we need to be more aware of it", could start a conversation.

The point I want to drive home is that we need to open discussions and be aware of our responses to statements that 'trigger' us. We all have topics that are important to us, that we care for deeply, and that we wish we could change—and when we hear people negate or belittle these topics, we naturally become defensive. We need to be careful though on how we approach these disagreements so as to, again, promote discussion and not division so as to silence. Yes, it can be annoying as all hell to hear opinions from the other side on a topic that is so clearly wrong to you that you want to punch them—but that will do nothing for your cause. Everyone has varying opinions, and we have to accept that not everyone is going to be on the same side. What matters is that when these issues bubble over the surface—how do we talk to one another?

Be passionate about what you believe in, and talk about it.