Why I Don't Like Having a Daily Routine

I don't think there are more popular videos on YouTube than routines (other than anything Shane Dawson makes). Morning routines, night routines, skincare routines—they circle around and pop up every day and they all sound something like this (morning routine example): "I wake up at the butt crack of dawn; drink 4 gallons of water; meditate for 48 minutes; I don't touch my phone until next week; and I don't eat until 4:00PM because my dIgEsTiOn NeEdS a bReAk." It's so tiring and monotonous, and I have a hard time believing that every single person making these actually does the same thing as everyone else, just because that's what's popular.

Now, I'm not saying it's a bad thing if you like to have your routine of waking up early, meditating, drinking water, and going for a workout. If that's truly what makes you happy, keep doing it. But, if you're like me and suffer from OCD and anxiety and just generally don't have serotonin, having a routine could make you nervous. I feel like if I have the same routine every day (or some variation of the same routine), it'll activate my OCD and make me think: "If I don't do X, something bad will happen", and the intrusive thoughts seep in. This is why I can't journal every day because I feel like if I don't write the same things down everyday in terms of things I'm grateful for and my goals, then the goals won't happen and the things that make me grateful will disappear. It's pure anxiety, and I prefer to mute it as much as possible.

In the morning, I wake up when I feel my body is ready to wake up. Sometimes that's 6:30, other times 8:00, or 7:21—it changes depending not only on my work schedule, but how well I managed to sleep the night before. I listen to my body and what it needs, and that changes every day. I drink water first thing in the morning because my mouth is dry and disgusting, but I take maybe 4 gulps, then I'm done. I'm also starving upon waking, so I go downstairs and put SOMETHING in my mouth—which honestly is sometimes a mini Kit Kat bar. Then I whip up whatever I'm feeling, which is usually cereal, eggs on toast, or oatmeal if I'm feeling up to the wait. After that, the morning is completely up in the air.

I like keeping my days open around my work schedule so I can do what I think feels right depending on my mood. If I'm feeling agitated or unhappy, I'll make sure to meditate to keep myself from spinning out. If I have a surge of creativity, I'll sit and write for 3 hours until my fingers go numb. Sometimes I bake banana bread. Nothing is set in stone for me, and that's how I like it. Too much routine makes me feel trapped, bored, and fearful of setting off OCD tendencies. A bit of routine is fine, but nothing too rigid.

I just wish influencers were more honest about their routines. I feel like so much of them make routines that they know people will like, instead of being honest and saying things like: "alright so I'm eating Fruit Loops this morning, and I think I'll skip a shower today because I'm so fucking tired and just want to go to work and be done with it", "I wake up around 10:00 because my work schedule is weird but hell I'll sleep in as long as I want because I hate mornings", "I'm gonna go walk my dog then come home and chug a Monster energy drink." Anything that doesn't sound like everybody else's carbon-copied routine. It's so boring and disingenuous.

This isn't to say that we shouldn't be doing things every day to improve our mental health, far from it. I just want people to know that you don't have to do what everyone else *says* they're doing even though it does nothing for you. Some people cannot stand meditating, and would rather read a book or go to the gym, that's fine! If you are a night owl and work best at night, don't feel ashamed for going to bed at 2:00AM and waking up at 10:00. We are all so different, so why are all these routines seemingly the same?

All I really want to say is: do what makes you happy. If you're not happy, do something to fix it. See a therapist; exercise more; do something creative; let yourself sleep in; go clubbing with your closest friends once in awhile—just live your life, and do so knowing that you shouldn't feel guilty for living it on your terms. If having a set routine every day is your thing, go for it. If not, don't feel ashamed.

Go live your life, and take care of yourself.