Everyone has their own choice as to whether or not they want to post photos of their significant other on the internet. If you're married, it's certainly one thing to want to post photos of your life partner; if it's your boyfriend or girlfriend, things may be a little different. For me, I don't know if my boyfriend is...you know...going to stick around (I'm single at the moment so this is a hypothetical situation, but also one I've stuck to when I did have a boyfriend). I don't know if we're going to be together forever, so I don't want to post someone who's temporarily going to be in my life on my social media.
I have a couple more reasons for this: there are some really crappy people out there who will try and DM someone's significant other and try to flirt with them (or worse), and I don't want some chick trying to message my boyfriend and cause problems. If I keep my relationship private online, then I have little worries about that. Trust me, there are some really messed up people who have nothing better to do than ruin relationships.
Again, if I were married it would be very different. He would be my husband; a permanent aspect of my life and who I share it with. Sure, there could still be those messed up people trying to stir things up by messaging him or me online, but I would be more secure in our relationship and our commitment to each other (not like there aren't married people who cheat, but I would hope most are honest and committed to their spouse). I know that he's in it for the long haul, so I feel like he's earned a spot on my feed.
"Then why do you post pictures of your friends? They could be a temporary aspect of your life; what's the difference?" The difference, to me, is huge: there's far less pressure as a woman to have friends than there is to be in a relationship. Messages circulate constantly on the idea of a woman having more worth if she's married/in a relationship; so when I (as a straight woman) post a photo of myself with a guy, there's a far different message than when I post a photo with a friend. In my mind, a photo of myself with a guy has the underlying message of: "Look how stupid I am for posting a photo with a guy who will probably not be in my life in 6 months. But also, look how much more worth I have now that I have a boyfriend." I know it's irrational to think that way, but it's the thought that immediately enters my mind when I think about posting a photo of me and a boyfriend.
If you want to post a photo of your significant other on social media, that's your choice and there's certainly no shame in wanting to share them in that way. These are just my feelings on why I choose not to do that, and for all I know those feelings could change in the future. It can be tricky managing a relationship online, let alone in reality—so I worry that putting a boyfriend on Instagram for all to see will put on extra strain.
What about you? What are your thoughts on posting photos of boyfriends or girlfriends on social media? Are you ok with it or do you have concerns similar to mine? Let me know either here in the comment section below this post or over on my Instagram @zoeparisblog.
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